Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Opinions expressed in this episode are personal. They do not necessarily reflect the views of this streaming platform.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: Good day, everyone, and welcome to another edition of let's Be Diverse. I am your host, Andrew Stout. This episode is dedicated to all my loved ones who supported me through this journey. Those who have left us will always be in our hearts and never be forgotten.
Today, today our topic is Conscious leadership principles. I read something about this the other day and it really interests me. So I thought I would dive into this today and I'm so happy to have as a guest today to talk about this. Vanessa Poirier. Welcome to the show. Vanessa. I am super honored and happy to have you on as a guest today.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Hi. Thanks for having me.
[00:00:48] Speaker B: You're very welcome. How are things with you? What's going on in your world? What's happening? Give us the tea, the deeds, give us it all.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: It's been busy. Lots of changes. Hence fall. I, I don't know what it is about fall. It's like starting school again or something.
I just have that urge to grow and learn and change. So I'm feeling the energy definitely.
I've been doing leadership coaching for the last couple years and I recently just took on a consulting contract term position for a little bit which is just bringing me to my edge and helping me just dive into this world deeper. And I'm loving it. It's giving me a new perspective and I just love growing. So it's non stop journey for me.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: No kidding. Yeah. So you got lots going on for sure. I love when you said the a fall because I do feel like after summer goes like summer is kind of like a relaxing time. Everyone goes on vacation, goes on trips, that type of stuff. And then it's like back to school. So it's almost like the fall is almost like, it's kind of like the new year for me. It's almost like, okay, back to regular routine. Back to, you know, back to having supper at certain times, back to, you know, bedtimes. Back to, you know, everything is a regular routine for me as once, once fall seems to hit and then we start to prepare for the new year. I'm already preparing for the new year myself, so. And I'm sure that there's others that are thinking the same way.
[00:02:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I feel you on that. It's like this push and this rush to get your, your annual goal in and then also this new invigorating, invigorating like freshness to like what's coming up soon. It's around the corner.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly. Well, I'm glad to hear that things went or like I said, went well for you. Congratulations on the new job. And it sounds like you got lots of stuff going on and lots of promising things going and it's. So it's going to be an exciting 2025 for you or at least start at 2025 for you. So that's super exciting.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: I think so. Thank you. You.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: You're welcome. So before we get going, Vanessa, I always have a fun, thought provoking question to. To get going and to. To have her for a guest. Are you ready for yours today?
[00:03:22] Speaker A: Oh, let's see.
[00:03:27] Speaker B: So your. Your question is if a product says do not use if seal is broken, how are you supposed to open it and seal it?
[00:03:38] Speaker A: It's like a trick question. Okay. So if a product says.
I feel like it was a riddle. Say that again.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: So if a product says do not use if seal is broken.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: How do you. How are you supposed to open it and seal it?
[00:03:56] Speaker A: But I'm gonna use the product.
[00:03:58] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: Did I buy it for myself?
[00:04:00] Speaker B: Yeah, you bought. You brought the product for yourself.
But the, you know when it says do not open it or do not use if the seal is broken. So you obviously you have to break the seal to. To use it.
But how are you supposed to open it and seal it if it's saying do not use it? If the seal is broken, then I'm.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: Deciding to use it. I think if, I guess at the same time, if you open it and the seal is broken and you use it, you could just still return it and get your full refund.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: There you go.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: And say it was still open.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: That makes.
[00:04:43] Speaker A: That makes sense when I got it. That's actually a lifetack, I guess.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: Yeah, it is for sure.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: I don't know. That'd be cheating the system. I don't like that. But.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: I wanted to get you thinking before we got started here, so thank you for having fun with me.
Why don't we start off with you telling us a little about you, your story and of course your why big one.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: Like love it.
So a little bit about me. So I've worked in HR for a really long time and I was starting to have got married, you know, got the house, started to have children, going on with life. And my story starts in covet, like many people do. I think it was a big turning point for a lot. And I was on my second baby and it was middle of COVID during the toughest restrictions and my dad passed away. So that was really hard for Me, I think I had been kind of ignoring that relationship for a really long time.
It was like a push pull relationship. And so that one really hurt for me. I had a lot of shame and guilt, plus a two month old baby.
So I went deep inwards and was trying to heal that part of me. I joined a meditation group, which is very comforting.
Trying to sleep, slow down the thoughts and throw that, slow down that anxiety and feelings of burnout. And it was very comforting to slow down my thoughts and just find that stillness and find that presence.
And that was a building block which I didn't even know. I just threw myself into it because it felt like do or die.
And from there I was very. I was noticing my meditation teacher just, you know, asking some really insightful questions and it really helped me. And I was curious about that. I was like, how do you know how to ask all these questions? And like, how are you so wise basically? And she was like, oh, I've actually looked and I've actually taken some coaching. I was like, that's exactly what I want to do. I want to look into coaching. So I looked into coaching and I got certified because I knew the meditation was half of the work. And I didn't want to just be coached. I wanted to know like how the ins and outs, the reason whys, all of it. So I joined a coaching certification, got all my hours done, and this started this whole new journey for me to helping other people find their leadership, find their, their grounded like, find that groundedness and that presence and just that best version of themselves and to stop feeling like life was just happening and you could crumble so easily and lose everything and just finding that purpose in all of that. And for me, my purpose has really been. Yeah, and showing up for myself, showing up for my family and being in service to others and helping them through coaching has been the most rewarding thing for me. It lights me up. Like after I'm in a session with someone, like I'm floating, you can't get to me. I'm still in that daydream state because I'm all feeling all the worms and fuzzies.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: No kidding. Listen, I, I love your story.
One of the things that caught my attention, first off, you know, condolences to your dad. I. I lost both my parents in the last seven years. So I will never say that I know exactly how somebody's feel or I never tell someone how they should feel, but I do sympathize with how you felt. And when you said you kind of had some Regret. So when I was a little bit older or actually in the last since 09, I decided to move provinces and you know, because I met someone and I moved provinces and that's when, you know, things started to happen and they started to get ill and I wasn't there and I talked to them a lot over the phone and I did go visit, but I wasn't like there full time. And I do. They did have a little bit of regret at some points that I wasn't there fully. But, you know, they would always tell me, say, look, Andrew, you, you know, you moved on. You had to do what was best for you, for your life, for your career, and, and you did it. So, you know, they didn't have any hard feelings. I think it was on, you know, it was more myself having those feelings of, you know, I wish I, you know, I'm not there or, you know, know, I'm, you know, I'm there for a couple weeks but, you know, I'm not there certain times. And so you kind of. I kind of felt a little bit bad about it. But like I said, they always reassured me to tell me that, you know, I was doing good and I made the right decision and, and they were happy for me. So. I know, I know your feelings on that for sure.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: You're very welcome. So listen, I'm super excited about this conversation. I know you have a lot of knowledge and experience about in this, so I' excited to get into it. Why don't we get going here and start off with what is conscious leadership and why is it so important?
[00:10:32] Speaker A: Yes, this is my favorite topic. So conscious leadership. So a sense breaking it down. Consciousness is being aware and leadership is to me is leading yourself like you are very much the author of your life. And I think taking that with is the most important role you're going to have. And it's on so many different levels, like your leadership, more than just career, your leadership and your relationships with yourself as a parent, in whatever other groups you have, friends could be sports teams. But just how are you showing up and how are you showing up for others? How are you showing up for yourself?
[00:11:21] Speaker B: I love when he's saying being aware because I do agree with you. Leaders have to be aware of their sir, not just their surroundings. But who is.
It's kind of like Big Brother, right? They're being watched or watched. We're all, you know, leaders are always being watched and seeing how they're going to react to certain situations. And it's almost like a follow the leader type scenario where we're, you know, others are going to follow what they're doing. So if they're calm, cool and collective, they're going to be calm, cool and collective. After flying off the handle, and they can't handle tough situations, well, then they're gonna, you know, everyone else is gonna fly off the handle. I remember, you know, a good example of this. I remember being a hockey coach, and I remember coaching young kids, you know, 10, 11, 12 years old, and I had to make sure, even though I didn't agree with something, and maybe the referee made a call or whatever, and I was upset with it, but I had to not react to it because I knew that those kids are impressionable. They're following what their coach is doing. So if I start yelling and screaming, then they're gonna start yelling and screaming and they're gonna get off their, you know, playing hockey and worrying about everything else. So I had to be calm, cool, and collective. I had to reassure them telling everything is going to be okay. And. And that's. So I love when you're saying being aware.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: Yeah. For me, it's really calling yourself up into what you're capable of and having that standard. And when you're in that power, you call others into their power as well.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: So now that we know what it is, what is the most difficult thing about conscious leadership?
[00:13:12] Speaker A: Very good question. So a lot of people think they understand projections, but they don't. And I know it's a trendy word that's all over the Internet. And unfortunately, people understand maybe half of what projections are. And that's a lot of the work that I do with people is to help them go through projections. So there's positive projections and negative projections that we work through.
So do you want me to dive into that or.
[00:13:46] Speaker B: I would love. I would love to, for sure.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: Okay. So positive projection. Actually, let me back up before I explain this. There are a couple fundamental things that we need to understand in order to understand projections. So first off, it is the belief that life is intelligent. Right. So let's give evidence to that. So if we look at plant life, plants are intelligent. They like photosynthesis. Like, that's incredibly intelligent. How that all functions, like CO2, O2, the whole situation there. And plants can give fruit. Like, there's an intelligence about that. And. And even further, like we were talking about the seasons earlier, just the change of life, there's just this intelligence running around to the human. Like the breath, it's involuntary. Right. There's just so many Systems within the body that are just working without us even being conscious of it.
So would you agree that life is intelligent?
[00:14:54] Speaker B: I would say so, yeah.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: Yes. And so I urge you, you and others to just keep looking for those that information, that feedback in the world around you that life is intelligent. Because I believe that's a very fundamental belief in order to progress in conscious leadership. The other one is understanding that there is ego and there is essence. So our ego is our thinking mind and our essence is, is who we are at the core on the soul level.
And then another understanding is consciousness, right? So our conscious mind, the ego, is really working at only about 5%.
So what you're interpreting with throughout the day, like your mind job, is just supposed to take in data and output information. Like it's just working to absorb life around you. And our subconscious mind is 95% of actually who we are. So there's so much that we don't even realize that we're taking in through the mind. And like, basically the subconscious is like a storage. It's just keeping up all the information.
And if we don't question our mind, our emotions, our behaviors, then we're stuck in a pro, a programming that maybe was provided to us at a, like at a young age. Most of us, right, you're just brought up in an environment, a family, a culture. Like, it can be so many aspects and we just agree to it. We don't even know that we've agreed to it. We've just been raised around it, right? So we just buy into that culture.
So that, I hope, gives a little bit of a framework of where I'm coming from.
So with projections, so good positive projections.
So essentially when you're looking at someone, say you're comparing, you know, do a lot of that, especially in the workplace, compare someone's job or their salary, and the, those are the sticky points, or we're envious of somebody else.
That's actually a positive projection. So when we're looking at that, we're actually admiring maybe some traits in them. So the biggest point in that, that I can say into helping people is that a positive projection is actually something in you that you're projecting outside of you onto the other person because you're not owning that part of you entirely. So if you could see it as something that's calling you into your greatness, that will help you kind of figure out life. So if you see someone, ooh, they've got the big nice job and they've got the big car, and that's Just telling you, you want that. You want the luxuries, you want the big job, you want to be, I don't know, maybe respected, validated. You're wanting those things, and that's totally fine to want those things. And by seeing that projection, it's just calling you into what you're more capable of. So a saying that I use a lot is you spot it, you got it. So if you see it with someone, that's just mirroring to you.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: Right.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Life is a mirror and something that's inside of yourself.
So if you understand the projections and you go about life and you use things for your benefit, then life gets easier. It's not as difficult because a lot of people get stuck with just the judgments or resistance and seeing it in a negative kind of way.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: So you're talking about. You used an example before, earlier, in your explanation of projections. You're saying that someone, you know, they see somebody else and they. They like, oh, you know, they want to almost sounds like they almost want to be like that person.
What would you say? Like, so is it negative projection? Is it more like. So, for example, let's just say they're looking at somebody, but not in, like, a positive manner. They're looking at them like, oh, my God, they're, you know, they always come in late and they get away with it, or they always.
They're always going on a smoke break and nobody says anything, or they go to lunch and they stay, you know, a few minutes later and nobody says anything. But, you know, they're sort of kind of like, you know, if it was me, they would say something. So would that be considered a negative projection?
[00:19:55] Speaker A: Yes. So the negative projections, so how those work, they're a little trickier. So essentially, a negative projection is something within yourself that you're not accepting, therefore. And then. So, like, the ego is essentially rejecting it. You're rejecting that part of yourself. So therefore, because life is intelligent, it'll play out in the outer world in front of you for you to notice. So if. Yeah. So one of the examples you gave there was, okay, someone's late all the time.
So you're looking at them and you're kind of getting that. You're judging them. And what. And for being late or not a great employee or whatever your judgment is. And it's help. It's supposed to help you question, okay, what part of that is align is not. Am I not accepting with myself? Because whatever we do to others, we're actually subtly accepting. Maybe not exactly the same way, but on a Subtle level, doing ourselves. So.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: Right.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: It's an invitation to open up and look at yourself in a different way.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Right. So what I was thinking is, you know, not necessarily that they're looking at it, but they're, they're looking at it and they're upset because they're thinking, well, you know, let's just say they were late and somebody said. And their boss said something to them, but they're. The other person is always late. Nobody says anything to them. So they're like, oh, well, how come somebody said something to. They said something to me. But I, you know, I came in late once, but this person's late every day or, you know, I don't take any breaks. I hardly take a lunch. They take X amount of breaks. X amount of, you know, a longer lunch. So they're kind. That, that's why I was kind of thinking that might be a negative because they're, you know, it's something that's out of my control. So it's a negative because I, I can't control what the other person's doing. I'm only control what I'm doing.
[00:22:04] Speaker A: So the negative would be more so like the judgment you have towards that person.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: Okay. Okay.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Okay. That totally. That totally makes sense. It totally makes sense.
[00:22:14] Speaker A: The situation a little different. My HR hat goes on and then goes. And then goes, well, we don't know that person's situation. And maybe they were allowed to be late. Maybe they had an appointment. I don't know.
[00:22:25] Speaker B: Exactly. Exactly. It could be anything. Right. So I'm just being the devil's advocate here, but you're absolutely right. We can't assume. We can't wonder why is this person this or why is this person that? We just have, you know, we can't assume of what's, what's going on for sure.
So how does conscious leadership.
How was it influenced by how being, how is being conscious influenced by influence leadership?
[00:22:54] Speaker A: It is so important, especially the projection work. And through that is finding.
So like I said, finding the part of you that you're actually craving. Like the, the projection will actually be craven, be pointing to you something that maybe you're missing or that you want more of and just finding compassion and finding your wholeness through that. And so I find when I'm working with leaders, when we do this work, it really opens their mind up and then they're able to have better clarity, better decision making. Because a lot of the time, like the whole, this whole world that we're, we're just constantly projecting. Right. Like, that's the whole name of the game. It's there for a reason, because we're trying to find our wholeness, we're trying to find our center. We're trying to love all aspects of ourselves.
So it's actually the name of the game. And it actually gets to be fun if you look at it this way. And so when we start using it for ways to better ourselves, then it feels like a lot of energy gets lifted. And like I said, you have more clarity. You can make better decisions. You know, what's your stuff and what's my stuff? I don't. I don't get involved. It's not like an enmeshed relationship. And so it just gives you so much more confidence to move in your life and move forward. And then your next milestone, your next goal, whatever that be, just becomes so much easier to attain because you're not blurred by all of this other drama that's going on.
[00:24:47] Speaker B: You have a clearer understanding of your surroundings and what's going on, and you're conscious of it. So because of that, you're like you said, you're able to move forward, forward a lot quicker.
[00:25:00] Speaker A: You're conscious, and then you can lead yourself. Conscious leadership.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: There you go. Absolutely. What could conscious leadership look like in the future? How do you see it molding or developing in the future?
[00:25:14] Speaker A: I feel like consciousness as humanity as a whole is shifting rapidly.
I think people are becoming more aware of this. You can see it play out in society. Like a lot of when the drama's all happening, I'm like, ooh, it's getting juicy. Right? Because once, like, once you see it this way, it gets to be fun, it gets to be a game. And then you're like, oh, we're on the brink of, like, something new, a new discovery within ourselves. Right. And I think it's just calling people up into what they're capable of. I think it's going to change the way we.
We lead in companies and groups.
Just everybody having radical acceptance and responsibility and accountability for themselves. And it's going to make for better workplaces and relationships. It's an evolution. It's gonna happen either way we like it or not. It's just how consciousness is shifting.
[00:26:22] Speaker B: Yeah. So do you feel like that more leaders are kind of gearing, like, are looking at this or finding out a little bit more information about this, or they're kind, you know, and the ones that have found it, more information about it, they're kind of realizing that it's. It's a good way to lead, and they're starting to do it that way. Is that what you're seeing?
[00:26:47] Speaker A: Like, people come to me when they're just kind of like, fed up. They're just done. They're just like, I don't want to do it this way. How are other people figuring. Figuring it out? How. How do, like, what am I missing? What do I not know? And it's really doing the inner work. The inner work is what sets you up for outer success.
[00:27:07] Speaker B: I love that.
So in closing, what is one takeaway that you'd like the listeners to get from this episode?
[00:27:21] Speaker A: That's a good question.
Just that you're the problem and you are the solution. It's you against you. And the universe is you and everything around you is a reflection of you. And it doesn't have to be hard. It's just opening your heart to it and opening your mind to it. And when we do that, it's like a surrender. It's like a letting go. And you can really step into what you want to create for yourself. And that's the magical point is when I see people step into their leadership and really go for what they want. It's just so exciting.
[00:28:03] Speaker B: What you made. What you said there made me think of something. I had a conversation with somebody today, and you can correct me if I'm. If I'm off base on this, but they were saying to me today that, you know, there's.
They don't like the word can't. They just. They just don't like the word can't. They. There's always a solution to something. So whenever they feel someone feels. Or when somebody feels like they can't do something, she's always that one to say, well, I wanna. You know, I'm gonna do everything that I can to figure it out. So that's kind of what you just said, that you're the problem, you're the solution in a roundabout way. That kind of what she said. That's pretty much what you're saying?
[00:28:53] Speaker A: Because it's all. Life is a paradox. Like, it's hilarious once you start seeing the intelligence and all of it. It's like the answer is in with. It's within the answer. Like it just answers itself. It's usually go to the opposite.
[00:29:08] Speaker B: Yeah, that's a good trick.
[00:29:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:12] Speaker B: Yeah. And I guess. And I think it's kind of in those conversations. I'm sure you working with a lot of people. I know I have talking to people and I've kind of asked them questions. And by asking them questions and, and talking to them. Sometimes they kind of like, oh, yeah, I guess I kind of figured it out, didn't I?
And that's, I'm sure you see that quite often as well where they kind of like, yeah, I guess it's not really a problem. I think I figured it out and I think I know what to do.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Or they're like saying it, but they don't. They're not aware that they're even saying it's the problems within the problem. Like it's, it's super funny. Once you're aware of it, you're like, oh, it's right there. It's been there the whole time.
[00:30:00] Speaker B: Absolutely. Well, listen, I love this conversation. It's so interesting to me and I just loved spending time with you today. I, I really thought it was an in depth conversation. So I want to take the time to thank you for coming on today.
You are a super awesome individual. I've, we talked just before we started taping today. We've had, you know, a number of conversations and I've, I've enjoyed every single one of them. I've come away every single time feeling uplifted, overjoyed, motivated by each one that we had, whether it was just a five minute one or, you know, an hour one. So you just have this way of, of talking to people and making them feel that what they have to say is a important and that, you know, let's find, you know, a solution to it. And you just have a way of making people feel special. So I appreciate you for taking the time for us today and I appreciate you having this conversation with us today.
[00:31:11] Speaker A: Oh, I appreciate that. And I received that and that was a positive projection. So if you see it in me, that means you have it too.
[00:31:20] Speaker B: There you go. See, we. She's always teaching people. She's always teaching.
On behalf of myself and my guest Vanessa, I'd like to thank you all for listening today. And until next time, be safe. And remember everybody, that if we all work together, we can accomplish anything.
You have been listening to. Let's be diverse with Andrew Stout to stay up to date with future content. Hit subscribe.
[00:31:56] Speaker A: Sa.
