Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Opinions expressed in this episode are personal. They do not necessarily reflect the views of this streaming platform.
Good day, wonderful people, and welcome to another edition of let's be diverse. I am your host, Andrew Stout. This episode is dedicated to all my loved ones who have supported me through this journey. Those who have left us will always be in our hearts and will never be forgotten. In today's episode, our topic is balancing priorities in a high performance culture. I I am so excited to welcome back as a returning guest, the amazing Caitlin Rios. Caitlin, welcome to the show. We are so honored to have you back on here today.
[00:00:40] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me, Andrew. I'm so happy to be here and just honored to be back as a returning guest.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Wow. How are things with you? What's going on? Give us the tea, give us the deets, give us it all. What's going on?
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Life, man. Life is wild and does not slow down and I'm loving every minute of it. Working on building my nonprofit organization, Face with Grace. Working on writing a book to support that nonprofit organization. Also working a full time job. I own a consulting business as well. Business as well. It's non stop. Plus I have kids and dogs and a husband and hobbies and you know, it just never stops.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: My goodness. Yeah, you got a lot going on there, that's for sure. No wonder you have. So when you put your head to the pillow, you must friggin fall asleep right away.
[00:01:25] Speaker B: No, I wish it was simple.
[00:01:27] Speaker A: You're like me, I always got something going on in my brain and sometimes I find myself wak up in the middle of the night going, oh, I.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: Need to write that.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: I need to write that down. Such a great idea. But I don't want to get up because then I won't go back to sleep. We'll try to go back to sleep. Try to remember it. So I might just put a little note in my phone just to remind me and then try to go back to sleep. But yeah, I am like you on that for sure.
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Things are, you know, they're busy, they're hectic. But congratulations on that nonprofit. I know that it is a lot of work and a lot of heart and emotion into stuff like that. So congratulations on that and I'm sure that we're gonna continue to hear good things about that in the near future.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you for being a great supporter of it. I really appreciate you.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: We do what we can. That's all we can do. Before we begin. I always have a Fun, thought provoking question to ask my guests to get things going. Are you ready for yours today, Caitlin?
[00:02:23] Speaker B: Ready racing for.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: You're ready. So my question is if you could spend a day talking to an animal, what animal would you choose and what would you want to learn from them?
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Oh my gosh. Easy answer for me. I would say an elephant.
[00:02:38] Speaker A: A.
[00:02:38] Speaker B: They are my favorite animal. I just think they're majestic and magical and wonderful. But the reason being is they are known to be wise and I'm sure that they have seen a thing or two in their time. And I think I would just love to pick the brain of an elephant because how freaking cool would that be? They live in different areas of the world than I do. Definitely wouldn't pick to talk to like a Fort Worth zoo elephant. I would go for a full on African elephant. Someone who's an elephant that's been somewhere I haven't. I could learn about the cultures and the people and the places they've been and yeah, just be so neat. What a great question.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: Well, I thought it was an interesting question and I was actually looking forward to see what your answer was. So I'm going to add mine today. Mine would be a bird because they show up early and often. So just like that old adage, early bird catches the worm. So it just interesting to me. And they're just so quick and they have a structure to their day. And I know we have birds, we put a bird feeder out in our backyard and we have some birds coming in to eat at the bird feeder and they're just so ingenious on how they get their stuff. So you kind of see them taking some seed in their mouth and they take off and fly into a tree. I guess it's to bring it to their babies. And I seen another bird feeding a baby on our, on our stairs the other day on the railing of our stairs. So it was really cool to see and really cool to watch. And, and like I said, they're early at it. Like I'm up early and there's a bunch of them like at the feeder, like early in the morning. So it's pretty cool.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: I love that. Birds are very fascinating. I love watching them too. We've got a birdhouse in our backyard and it's really, it's really neat when they build a nest in there. It just feels special, like you're a chosen one, you know.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Yeah, it certainly is. So. Yeah. So I, I love your answer. I think that's a super answer and it's a lot of Fun. So thanks so much for, for joining me on that and having some fun with me. So you've been on before. What I would like to do is for anybody who didn't hear your first episode, I'd love for you to start off with telling us a little bit about yourself. And we'd love to hear about your. Why, of course.
[00:04:44] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. Well, I am a physical therapist by trade and a certified wound specialist. I still work in the wound care world, selling medical devices and wound care products. But throughout my healthcare career, I have encountered many an unhealthy workplace. And in 2018, I hit a very low point in my life due to the stress of the workplace, just the unrealistic expectations and demands that were being placed on me at the time. And, you know, it got to a very low point where it felt like running my car off the road would be a better alternative to actually showing up to work. And that's when I knew. That's when I knew I needed to get out. But really in that moment, in the crux of that moment, I like to say that I was faced with grace. I looked up in my rearview mirror when I was having those thoughts and I saw my baby girl in the backseat and it was literally like Jesus had just shown up in the car seat and was saying, put those hands back on the wheel, girl, we've got work to do. Ever since then, you know, I don't think in the, in the midst of that moment, I really knew exactly what it meant. But I've been able to do a lot of soul searching and reflection and just self awareness building around that and realized that I am here for a purpose. And throughout leaving that job and moving on to others and trying to get myself to a psychologically more healthy and stable place and workplace, I saw some of the similar trends that just kept cropping up and it was like something, something is not right here. And I was realizing these trends just exist all throughout the workplace, no matter what organization you're in. You know, inherently I just think there's something wrong with that. Therefore, I now have begun faced with Grace and started this nonprofit in an effort to combat the toxicity that women face in the workforce and in the workplace. And really my goal with that is, is to a help women who are going through that feel seen and supported in ways that I wasn't just because I didn't know, to reach out for help or who I should reach out to help to or for help too, but also to just cultivate healthy leadership practices and healthy cultures in general, both through developing leaders who are already in a position to make that change possible, but by breaking chains and educating the next generation and helping them realize the red flags of these toxic workplaces and really what they can do to empower themselves to really make a difference in the world and the workforce moving forward.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: Such amazing things that you're doing there and amazing processes and a great idea for Face with Grace. And yes, we've probably all had a little bit or dabble a little bit of toxicity in a workplace. I know I have. I'll be vulnerable today. I was in a situation where it was not going well and I didn't feel like myself. And I just did not know what was going to happen and I didn't feel good. I just wasn't myself and I didn't like it. And when I got out of it, I promised myself that I would never let that happen again. And it hasn't. And I think a lot of it was, you know, speaking up and saying what I was feeling. And I think I was just afraid to do that. And now I'm not. And I think our listeners, I think that's a lesson. If you're feeling like you need to speak up, we'll speak up, because no one's going to look out for you more than yourself.
[00:08:04] Speaker B: Absolutely. Couldn't have said it better myself.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: So why don't we get into meat and bones of this conversation here? So now I always say before I begin, you, you brought it the first episode, but when you come back as a second time, we expect you to bring it. So I'm expecting you to bring it today. So no pressure, but I'm expecting you to bring it today.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: Got it, Andrew.
[00:08:26] Speaker A: So cool. My. So what makes prioritizing effectively such a challenge?
[00:08:33] Speaker B: My gosh. Because there's constantly new priorities cropping up. I think that's the simplest answer. And oftentimes in life, especially when you're a busy professional or, or a mom or. And a mom or parent, I'll say that, you know, the priorities not only keep cropping up, but many of them are, are all important. And so it's hard to determine sometimes how to navigate that.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: Yes, it's a constant new priorities, for sure. And I think it's also fears, desires and insecurities.
I think we sometimes prioritize things that give us immediate gratification. So I think when it's not giving us any gratification, then we don't prioritize it. And like I said earlier, we're just so scared and we fear of speaking up or seeing that this is something that's a priority to me and I really need to do it. Instead, we just do it and. And sometimes it's to our own detriment.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: Absolutely. And I think boundaries are a huge piece of that. Right. I think that without going into your day, your month, your year with concrete boundaries around your values, around your time, around your talents, I think that it becomes very easy to get lost in the shuffle there and let those priorities kind of ebb and flow, where, if you held fast to your. Your boundaries, it becomes much easier to navigate things and recognize kind of the constructs around them and almost compartmentalize things in a way.
[00:10:03] Speaker A: So what techniques support effective prioritization in a busy work environment?
[00:10:08] Speaker B: Well, for me, like I just mentioned, boundaries are huge. I have to keep boundaries or I will go insane. There is no gray area around that for me.
And, you know, that looks different for everybody. I think that boundaries can either be a mental thing that we just know, like, this is my hard line on XYZ situation. For other people, it's very. It's got to be tangible. You've got to see a calendar block on your schedule to know that this is when I'm starting this activity, this is when I'm ending it and moving on to the next thing. And so, I mean, I think it's for different people, it's different things, and for different situations, there's different types of boundaries too. Right. Like, I, like you mentioned, I have learned that a boundary I have for myself in the workplace is to not settle. It's to not settle for less. It's to settle. It's to only agree to work in places that, you know, uphold good values and. And have values that align with my values and the people are decent and good culture is something that's prioritized. But, you know, prioritizing things in general and setting those boundaries, I think is just a really.
That's a really concrete way you can approach prioritization of anything. Otherwise, you know, I think that we fall into, like you, the things that captivate us are the things that pull our attention the most quickly because they're exciting to us or they give us instant gratification. And so it's about determining in your life what actually matters to you, what do you stand for, what are the things and the activities that you actually want to spend your time on. And, you know, this may be too vague and too broad, but, I mean, I think a bit very, very broadly in terms of. When I look back on my Life. Am I going to be happy that I sat around doom scrolling on my phone, or am I going to be really proud of myself for building a nonprofit organization? Right. Like, you know, what do you do with your free time? I think is really the crux of that and what it boils down to.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: And I think Caitlin, getting help when needed and being afraid to say the word no. So I have a little bit of a mantra that I say to myself. I'm not afraid to say the word no, and I'm not afraid to hear the word no. So I know in conversations that we've had, I've said that to you, like, tell me me no. And if, even if you tell me no, it's okay. Like, don't be afraid to tell me that. And I think it's super important that we do that because if we don't or if we're afraid, then it just makes things a lot difficult for you, Right?
[00:12:35] Speaker B: Absolutely. And I think that that goes to, you know, talking about who. The types of people that you keep yourself surrounded with and asking for people to be direct with you. I, like, I kind of gravitate towards people who are just naturally direct because I appreciate that, that I, I like to have, like, don't sugarcoat things. Right. Give it to me straight. I just want to know what you're thinking so we can move forward and figure out a solution. But for people who aren't comfortable with that, you know, if you're working with somebody who's not the most direct, I think the best thing we can do for ourselves is be vulnerable and authentic and come back to the fact that, you know, a conversation, a very raw conversation that says, hey, we're working together on whatever it might be. I want you to, to be direct with me. I want you to say no. I want you to give me feedback. I want honest conversation. And I think when we break it down like that and we just make that expectation very clear, it becomes much easier for that person who's maybe not so comfortable being direct to become more direct.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: No, it's, it's honesty is. We always say honesty is the best policy. Right. So when you, when you can be honest, then, then I think it makes it so much better for everybody. So that's all we want. We just want people to be, to be honest with us and, and tell us, like you said, tell us how it is. Tell me what you want, tell me what you need, and let's, and let's see if we can, like you said, get it done. Because if you're sugarcoating it, or if you're going around in circles on it, how do I know what you're needing? So it's that communication factor I think is super key.
[00:14:08] Speaker B: I mean, think about the time we waste being, you know, people who will beat around the bush about something. I learned that very early in my career. It's like I used to dance around a topic and make emails super wordy. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's like just, just get to the point because we don't have time.
And what more could we do with the time that we have spent on sugarcoating and dancing around a topic versus just being direct? So much value.
[00:14:34] Speaker A: Exactly. So do you believe today's leaders truly recognize the value of prioritization?
[00:14:39] Speaker B: I absolutely think they recognize the value of prioritization.
I don't think all leaders know how to prioritize, though, and oftentimes I think it falls more to the fact that their priorities are very different than their employers priorities or their employees priorities. Excuse me.
And we fail as leaders sometimes to truly walk in the shoes of our directors and recognize what in their world is actually on fire versus what is it in my world that's on fire that needs to be really addressed in a timely manner. And I think a huge part of that that is lacking, it's just communication. Again, it's. It's talking about, you know, what's going on in your world, what's going on in my world, what's your top three things today that you need to get done, and collaborating on that, and making sure that everyone's needs are met and that all the organizational tasks get accomplished. And that goes the same for relationships too. Right? It's not just in the workplace. I think that we as leaders in the home have to do that with our kids, we have to do that with our spouses and our partners. Like it works in so many different situations to just be open about that communication and not expect people to read minds. It's so huge.
[00:15:53] Speaker A: Yeah, we're not psychics, we are not mind readers. So we can't read minds. That is for sure.
I think many organizations are recognizing it, but I do feel that there's still quite a few organizations that need to recognize, well, being, engagement and productivity. And I think that those go hand in hand with prioritization. And if I think if they recognize a little bit more, it's going to be very helpful. As you're talking, what comes to mind is our show that I used to watch and they had an owner of. Of the business go in and disguise himself and go into different locations and get trained on certain jobs, and the employees had no idea who they were. They would just treat them like anybody else. And you saw a lot of stuff happening and they were prioritizing things that may not have been the right thing, but they thought that was what they needed to prioritize in order to do their job properly or to. To help things run. And in a lot of cases, it wasn't the proper method, but if they didn't see that or they wouldn't have been aware of it. So it was a really good show to watch and see how it functioned. And at the end, they always learned a lot. Well.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: And I think that comes back to integrity. Right. You know, if you're. If your priorities are shifting just because someone's in the room that holds some kind of leadership weight or capacity or whatever, I think that's an issue. I think that our priorities, especially in an organization, shouldn't shift that much. If a CEO walks in the room, you should be doing the same thing you should be doing when he's not in the room. Right.
And vice versa. I think there's a lot to be said about are you doing the right things even when no one's watching, or are you doing the right things because you know someone's watching?
[00:17:41] Speaker A: Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's why I like that show, because it. It was. They didn't know that it was a CE or the owner, and they just did what they thought. So it was. I get a really good indication of what was happening, and they really got a really good full picture. And a lot of times they're like, I didn't even realize that this was going on, or I didn't realize that this was happening. So they're getting a real view of what's happening and it's real time, and they make the adjustments needed. For sure.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:18:11] Speaker A: So what's the connection between managing priority prioritize?
What is the connection between managing priorities and fostering an inclusive culture?
[00:18:21] Speaker B: Well, I think an inclusive culture has to be a priority for you in order to foster inclusive culture, which, you know, I've worked in many organizations where they would have a poster on a wall or a celebration in a month or something that said, we foster an inclusive workplace. We are DEI certified or whatever it may be. You get the external picture that that is the way the organization is run. But when you dig down deep and you get into the weeds in the organization, you realize very quickly it's not that. So I think, you know, it's, it's a matter of. It actually has to be a priority, not just a poster on the wall. Right. We have to actually give a damn about those initiatives in order for it to be something we pay attention to, care about, advocate for, you know, strive to be better at every single day.
[00:19:15] Speaker A: For sure. No, and I definitely, I think that it is, it's when a leader communicates, it is important because it creates a culture that aligns with everyone's efforts. So if they use that word communicate throughout this conversation here, but if they do communicate effectively, it's going to align with the culture. So exactly like you said, if they're communicating in a certain way, then we see what the culture is. If they're flip flopping one day or communicating one way another next day because they're in a mood or communicating another way, then yes, it's going to affect things for sure. So we ne. We definitely have to be on guard. It's almost like we're acting. It's like we are in a movie or in a television show. And from 8 to 5, that's your job. You're acting as the leader and you shouldn't really have to act, but you are that leader and you're focusing on that thing as when you leave or when you hop in your car or as you head home, you can turn off a little bit and that's fine. Your family, you know, it's nice to be able to turn off and, and be with your family and spend time with them, that's okay. But when you're there, the focus is definitely on the functions and the team. That's when everything that's going on.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: Absolutely, yeah, 100%. And I think that, you know, when it comes to just fostering an inclusive culture, you know, I think as leaders we have a huge responsibility. Like you said, you have to be on as a leader while you're leading or else it doesn't work. Right. We can't flip flop. We can't show mixed messages. And I think that I, I've seen the issues really crop up in organizations where there's been just outright tolerance for leadership that's gone against what the values of the companies were stated to be. And that's, that's a real problem. And I think that it's a huge demotivator for your, for your high performers when they see managers, leaders tolerating behaviors or actions that don't align with the posters on the wall. Right. And that's allowed to continue and it's like, well, wait, what, what's happening here? And why was that acceptable? But this person's getting punished over here. And it's just this, you don't get a very clear picture of the culture. Right. When that happens, it does nothing but muddy the waters and create confusion and frustration and like I said, demotivation.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: Now you're flip flopping. What am I in the mood for today or how am I going to do it today? And it's just different. It's got to be, it's got to be the same. And like you said, exactly like you said. But if you have a certain culture, if you have a certain way, if it's one way for one person, it's gotta be the same way for the other. So we definitely have to be mindful of that and definitely have to accept that for sure.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: Yep. Consistency is key.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: It certainly is. Certainly is. So before we wrap up, what is one message you hope sticks with our listeners today?
[00:22:03] Speaker B: Don't be afraid to set boundaries for yourself as an act of prioritization in both your work and personal life. I think for many years I didn't feel like I was allowed to do that for myself. And one of the hard truths I've learned is that I am, like you said at the beginning of this talk, I am the only one who's going to do that for me. No one's going to come in and save me and say, oh, you shouldn't, you shouldn't do this right now. You should go do this other activity and you need to take a break or you need a mental health day. I am the only one who is truly going to know my limit. I am the only one who is going to know where my boundary lines really exist. And so to create that for yourself and to hold space for yourself and to hold limits for other people, interfering on that time for yourself is critical not only to just work life harmony, but your mental health is, is hugely impacted by that. I have found that the more I set boundaries, the more I'm actually able to accomplish in a day. I am so much more productive. I'm able to engage in things like building nonprofit. I'm able to engage in hobbies and activities that I love to do because I say, all right, it's five o', clock, it's time to stop working.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Right.
[00:23:20] Speaker B: So I encourage people to be brave enough to set boundaries.
[00:23:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I think you have to know, like, when to call it quits. And I was talking to somebody the other day and I think we have to know we know ourselves and we know our own bodies. So you know, if you are, you're working from eight to four and you know, three o', clock, you're like just tired, you know, it's okay. Like it really is okay. Like if your body, you have to listen to your body. If your body's telling you I need to, I need to cut it loose today and I need to shut her down and shut her down. Don't be afraid to shut her down. And I'm not saying that we shouldn't work or we're finish at like one o' clock when we're supposed to finish at five. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying we. If you're working and you feel like you've run down and specifically if you're working from eight to five and you're tired, you know, don't go home and pull up your laptop and start working for another two hours. Like, listen to your body, understand that it's time to shut it down for today and do so 100%. So, so listen. My call to action is for everybody first off to listen, follow and share this episode. I wanted to take the time to thank you for, for coming on today. Caitlin. I just admire you present yourself, your tenacity, your resilience and grit and I always admire your drive and innovative mindset. So thank you for being a champion of vision and for being such a rare jewel. I appreciate you coming back on and to chat with us today and I appreciate you not just as a collaborator but also a friend as well.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Thank you Andrew. And likewise, I admire the hell out of you and I love what you're doing and, and just really appreciate the opportunity to have my voice amplified.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: You should have as many opportunities as you can to amplify your voice because you definitely speak some good words and you have some interesting and important things that to talk about and everybody should hear you for sure.
[00:25:19] Speaker B: Thank you. I'm glad.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: You're very welcome. On behalf of myself and my guest Caitlin, I would like to thank you all for listening today. And until next time, be safe and remember everyone that if we all work together, we can accomplish anything you have been listening to. Let's be diverse with Andrew Stout.
[00:25:39] Speaker B: To stay up to date with future content, hit subscribe.
