Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Opinions expressed in this episode are personal. They do not necessarily reflect the views of this streaming platform.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Good day, everyone, and welcome to another edition of let's Be Diverse. I am your host, Andrew Stout. This episode is dedicated to all my loved ones who supported me through this journey. Those who have left us will always be in our hearts and will never be forgotten. Today we're going to be talking about how chronic stress can. Can affect the workplace. My guest today is Rebecca Vegalius. Welcome to the show, Rebecca. I am so happy and thrilled to have you on here today.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: Well, I am happy and thrilled to be here today, Andrew, so thank you so much for inviting me on.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: You are very welcome. How are things with you? What's going on? What's new with you? Give us the tea, give us the deets, give us it all. What's going on, man?
[00:00:53] Speaker A: It's funny you're catching me in this week where I have so many things going on. I really like to create space, like spaciousness around me and not have too, too many things going on at once. Part of my own Stress Management 101. But lots of fun things happening this week. I actually have two big concerts that I'm going to this week, so I know tomorrow night I'm off to Zach Bryan with my daughter and her friends and some friends of ours. And then a couple days later, my husband and I and some friends are off to see Bruce Springsteen. So, yeah, it's kind of a fun week, right?
[00:01:29] Speaker B: That is awesome. Those are two pretty good concerts, I'd have to say. And. And there's so many good concerts going on right now. So, yeah, Zach, Brian and Bruce Springsteen. I'd say if you could pick, you know, two concerts to go to in a week, I would say that's a pretty good combo. I think you're winning right there.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Not a bad lineup, I would say. So. Yes. And you're getting a little bit of the. The new school and the old school in a. In the same week. That's pretty good.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: It. Yes. I mean, they are very, very different.
Yeah. Not just generations, but genres, all those things. But I'm excited to see both. Not. I've seen neither one before, so. And I hear both shows are fantastic, so we'll see how it goes.
[00:02:08] Speaker B: Yes. I hear Bruce Springsteen puts on an amazing show, so I'm sure you were in for treat. Well, thanks very much for sharing that. I'm like I said, I'm super excited for you. You'll have to let me know how those. How the concerts went and, And That I'll definitely be looking forward to hearing that.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: You betcha. I sure will.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: So before we begin, I always have a fun thought provoking question to ask my guests to get things going. Are you ready for yours today?
[00:02:35] Speaker A: I don't know, I don't, I have no idea if I'm ready, Andrew. I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready. But you know what, this is not, we're not sending rockets to the moon here. So you know, I, I'm gonna do my best. Hit me.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: No, no, you are not going to be graded on your answer. It is all for fun. So my question to you is a little bit of a thought provoking one here. If you had the opportunity to give advice to your 18 year old self, what would you give to her?
[00:03:08] Speaker A: And okay, that is a really fantastic question that I have actually considered before in the past and I don't know that it was ne my 18 year old self but you know, a younger version of me, what would I tell her today? And I mean, here's the thing. I think that every experience that I have gone through to this point in my 45, almost 46 years on the planet has served some purpose, right. So I don't look back and go oh man, I wish this was changed or this was changed or this. You know, sure, there's lots of things that maybe I wish didn't happen the way they did or whatever. But I would say, you know, one of the biggest things would be this idea of just releasing perfectionism. Releasing perfectionism and not being afraid to stand in her full self expression and authenticity and get, you know, and not get caught up in the kind of comparisonitis that we so often find ourselves in in the world today. I would say that, yeah, that would be my biggest thing is, is releasing perfectionism and, and letting her know that it's okay. It's actually more than okay. And things are going to work out just as they need to and they should if she just stands in her full authenticity and self expression.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: I heart your answer big time. I just love that I talk about perfectionism or being perfect quite often and I feel like there's no perfect person, there's no perfect situation. And I agree to 100%. I think we learn through our processes, we've learned through things that happen. There's tough times that we go through and we learn through them and we, and I, we always learn from. I have a saying that I always say to people, tough times don't last, tough people do. And I feel like when we're perfect or we think we're perfect, then maybe we don't go through those tough times. So as tough people, we get through it. We always do. And we always see the bright side of everything as leaders. It's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. It's going to be tough times. And we just need to learn how to manage those tough times. And if we can, then all the better to us.
[00:05:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's exactly right. And you know, in, in the work that I do now, which I know we're going to talk about, it's like one of the things that I have discovered that was kind of made this like, profound shift for me is this idea that perfectionism is actually, is actually a stress response and it's kind of, you know, a coping mechanism. Right. And so I adopted it quite early in my, in my years. And, and so now that I know what I know about it, it's like, okay, yeah, that makes a ton of sense. And so, yeah, if I was speaking to my 18 year old self, I would share that with her and kind of help her, I guess maybe process what she needed to process in order to not be so focused on getting everything right and being perfect. So there you go.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: That is awesome. Well, I love your answer. Thank you so much for having fun with me and sharing an answer. It was a profound answer. I was not sure what I was gonna get from you, but I'm gonna say you brought it. So that's, that's pretty cool.
[00:06:40] Speaker A: Wonderful.
[00:06:41] Speaker B: I appreciate it. So why don't we get this conversation going here and start off with you telling us a little about yourself, a little bit about your story and let's talk about your why as well.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, I kind of alluded to it a little bit in my last answer. The deeper I get into this work that I do now, the more I realize this kind of profound impact that our developmental years and our early childhood experiences really have on shaping who we are today. But it wasn't until about, I don't know, like five or six years ago that I realized how important this work that I do today truly is. And so, you know, I'll back it up a bit and just, you know, share with you. I grew up in Western Canada. I'm out here in beautiful British Columbia, just outside Vancouver, where I live with my husband and my two teenage bonus kids and our dog and two cats. And I started out my career in journalism. So I was a TV news producer for Close to a decade. You know, working in a really kind of high stress, high stakes environment, but also really fun place to spend my entire 20s working in a newsroom. And so I got to a point in that part of my career where I was like, I think I want to try something new. Like, I think I've kind of maxed out where I want to be with this and I want to try something new. And so like a lot of journalists, I moved to what, you know, is coined the dark side. I started in public relations and you know, similar to when I worked in TV news, I kind of quickly rose to the, you know, through the ranks at a, a PR and marketing agency, became a VP level executive doing media relations and corporate communications for both events and organizations across North America. And so after doing that for about seven years, I moved, I moved in house to a company, private company, where I was doing marketing and communications at the VP level. And I was there for about four years and thankfully I got laid off. I was really, really scared to quit that job because, you know, you've heard the term golden handcuffs, right? And I kind of had it, I had it made. Like I had moved outside of the city and my employer let me work from home four days a week and I was making, you know, a really decent six figure salary. And the thing with that position though is that it was in a extremely toxic work environment. Looking back now, I'm actually shocked that both the company and I lasted as long as it did. It's no longer, it's no longer around. And so I at the time didn't really think it was possible that I could find something that kind of matched what I had in terms of that financial stability and the flexibility and that kind of thing. But I, you know, and I had never had the entrepreneurial bug and, and then something shifted and I decided to start my own business in, in the marketing space. And so I worked in copywriting and messaging strategy for a number of years and I buil business into kind of a micro agency, fairly successful, you know, small business for myself and a couple of subcontractors. And so as I was going through that process and then also going through a lot of things on the personal side, kind of making a big move.
I had met my husband and he was going through some, you know, pretty nasty divorce at the time. I had these three little kids who all of a sudden became my step kids and things just changed a ton. And I was, you know, going through all these things and I was struggling big time and I didn't really realize and didn't know what was going on. I just kind of was looking at myself going, what is wrong with me? Like, sleep issues and fatigue and these emotional highs and lows and procrastinating in my business when I knew I really wanted it to be successful, successful. But I couldn't make myself do the work I needed to do on some days. And then other days I would just, like, totally overwork and then crash. Long, long list. And so in the process of working for a client in the wellness space, I actually discovered, you know, had this profound moment where I discovered this concept of chronic stress and how it affects us physically, mentally, emotionally. And it was this huge aha moment for me after trying so many different things to, you know, quote, unquote, fix myself. And I realized I was going after all these surface level issues and not really getting to the root of my challenges, which, as it happened, as it turned out, was chronic stress. And so everything I was trying, it might work for, you know, a short amount of time, but it was never really sustainable. And I never felt better or felt like myself for any length of time. And so as I went down this path, kind of learning about chronic stress and how it affects us, and I started healing my own chronic stress and gaining this really whole new awareness of how stress works and really coming to this understanding that we have so much more control over how we feel than we think we do. Because as I always say, stress mastery is an inside job. And so as I learned about this and I went down my own kind of personal healing journey, there was this incredible force that kept. Kept saying to me, tell other people, like, more people, especially women, need to know about this. And so I did, and I started sharing my story. And I got certified as a sleep stress management and recovery coach. And I studied behavior change and I studied the nervous system, which is basically our interoperating system that's responsible for our entire life experience, including how we handle stress. I got certified as a neurosomatic intelligence practitioner so that I could really understand how our brain works and how our nervous system works. And so, yeah, so today I work privately with individuals as well as inside organizations, helping their people to really master their stress response, to work with their brains, to change how they feel and how they show up at work and in life. And yeah, so they can have the big successes that they want without burning out or running themselves into the ground kind of mentally or emotionally or physically. Physically. And so. So, yeah, you ask about my why it's just kind of this you know, I think back to all of the women in my life. My aunts and my nana and my mom and, you know, and the. The women who are coming after me, my daughter and. And I just want to ensure. And it's men, too. But, you know, I. I have a strong connection when it comes to helping women. I just want people to know that they have so much more control over how they feel, you know, especially as it relates to stress.
[00:13:27] Speaker B: I love your. Your thoughts and your. And what you believe in, because I truly feel, and like, you were in the same wavelength as I am, that you realize what you learn when you're. Especially when you're working and you're working all those years and you're seeing stuff that's going on around you and you're seeing stuff that's happening with you. I always tell myself, like, I never want to have anybody go through the things that I went through. And the sad part is, is that there's so many people that are. So we need to talk about it, and we need to get it out there so that people can realize, hey, I'm not the only one that's. That's going through this. I'm not the only one that's in this type of situation. I'm not the only one that feels stuck. I'm not the only one that's stressed. I'm not the only one that, you know, you mentioned sleep or before. I'm not the only one that goes to bed at night and thinks, oh, my God, tomorrow I need to have a big day. I need to do this, I need to do that. And you're thinking about your work, and you're not relaxing, and you're not easing your mind and getting the necessary rest that you need in order to. To be present the next day. And so it's amazing to see it. And when you have a chance to sit back and think about it, there's always more things that you realize that you didn't realize when you were in it.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, Always. Right? Once you get that, you know, altitude on a situation and you can look back down on it and go, okay, that's what was going. Right? And it's. I mean, it's a very common experience for people to have that. And so, yeah, it's. It's kind of the. I always joke. My story is kind of the quintessential coach story, you know, and I am a coach and a consultant. Yeah. It really comes down to. I went through this, you know, kind of figured out a solution for Myself and went, I think there's a lot of people who could benefit from this and I'd really like the opportunity to help them because.
Because we're so lacking in resources out there. So. Yeah, wonderful.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: It was a great segue to, to our topic. You, you mentioned chronic stress. So what I want to know from you is because a lot of people may not know about it. They might have heard of it, but they may not know about it. So what is an example of chronic stress? What's a good example of it?
[00:15:44] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, for sure. And you know, I think there's so many different examples. Chronic stress at its core is really being in this high stress state for too long. So I always think of it like our brains, like I said, are how we handle stress. Everything our entire life experience kind of comes from our brain and our nervous system. Right. And you can think of your brain almost as being like your threat bucket. Right. We all have this threat bucket. And so when we're under chronic stress, our threat bucket is overflowing and we don't have the resources anymore to be able to adapt or to manage that stress. And so then we start to accept, experience things like maybe shutdown or procrastination or anxiety or panic or whatever, right. From that lack of resources and that it really requires us to kind of create more capacity in our nervous system so that we can handle that stress better to be able to adapt. So, so yeah, chronic stress at its core is this like prolonged activation of the stress response. And so, you know, our bodies are, are in a heightened state of alert for an extended period of time. And, and this can happen for a number of different.
Like, you know, when we think about physical symptoms, we think about like sleep disruptions and fatigue and tension and weakened immune response and stuff. And maybe there's things like behavioral patterns where we're overworking a ton on the job, or we've got that perfectionism that we talked about when we first started talking. Right. Or, or difficulty setting boundaries. Right. Or, you know, all of these things kind of perpetuate that cycle of chronic stress and burnout. So yeah, so that would be as I, as we relate it kind of back to the, the workforce. It's, it's that type of thing where we're overworking. We've got that perfectionism. We've. Yeah, we're having trouble kind of setting boundaries on the job. That type of thing. Yeah, can be, it can be. Also, you know, we think about it from an emotional perspective as well. That self doubt, you know, that imposter syndrome that creeps in. Those can happen, you know, in the workplace as well in the end and produce some pretty hard to deal with outputs of the nervous system.
[00:17:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it can happen all around us. And I mean, and you can even feel it all around the workplace. Not even just your leaders, but you can even feel it within co workers as well, too. You just don't fit into the team dynamic or you're not the person that people come and see to visit or what have you. So that could be stressful as well too, because you're like. And I know that people say, you know, we're not there to make friends, we're there to do our job. I get that. But you still have to have some sort of social dynamic at work. You spend so much time at work, actually more time than you do with your family. So you do have to have that social dynamic with people. And when it's not there, you know, it can be stressful because it's, you know, you're, you're feeling a little bit lonely.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I Mean, Stress Management 101. You think about like the pillars of stress management and one of them is, is connection. Right. We all need to feel some form of connection to one another or others. So given exactly what you just said, like the amount of time we're spending in our workplace, if we're not feeling connection with people in some way, shape or form, and you know, a safe connection with people, then that's going to contribute to chronic stress on the job as well, right? Yeah. I think when it comes to, when it comes to work stress or chronic stress in the workplace, it's, it's really kind of the key contributors are more of the. Depending on your job or more kind of the psychological factors, like psychological chronic stress that we, we.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: Rebecca, you're dealing with a lot of people, you're having a lot of conversations, you have a lot of clients. What is the most common form of chronic stress that you're seeing with your clients?
[00:19:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you know what, for sure, it's that, it's that psychological chronic stress. This is, this is what 100% of the people who I'm working with, whether it's individuals or individuals within organizations, is just this stress that we have. I mean, we live in a different time than, you know, the world was 100 years ago. Right. Different types of stress. It's not necessarily the physical stress, you know, that people dealt with, you know, long time ago. It's. It's really this psychological stress. That. That happens from, you know, ongoing life pressures and responsibilities that really feel kind of unmanageable or relentless. Right. And, you know, we think about today's workplace culture in a lot of places that promotes overworking or these always on expectations that people have. And we're, you know, we're worried about losing our jobs or, you know, lack of job satisfaction, or we've got these super high demanding workloads and tight deadlines and. And lack of autonomy, you know, for. For the people that I work with, you know, in the workplace, those are a lot of the things that come into play. Right? And then, you know, from an individual perspective, you know, it's people who are just. It's. It's a couple of different things. It's. It's the psychological kind of chronic stress things around, just pushing ourselves too hard. That perfectionism, that overachievement, kind of putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves. These internal narra that, you know, we're not good enough or we don't know enough, you know, those are the things that are putting the most stress on us these days, you know, and then also, we live in a world that just doesn't want us to sleep. So, you know, light and electronics and all those things, those can be very physically stressful for our bodies. And not getting enough quality sleep is. Is another big thing that I deal with. Not deal with, but help my. My clients kind of manage when they come to me, because that's a big one, too.
[00:21:40] Speaker B: You talk about psychological stress. I. I've been in jobs where they were physically demanding, and then there were jobs where there was a lot of thinking involved, and they were a little bit stressful. Because by the end of the day, I would say to my wife, you know what? You know, I'm really tired. And she'd say, oh, you know what happened? I'm like, nothing. It's just one of those days where I just thought so much that my brain is just, like, fried. I just want to do something monotonous, something that doesn't need me to think at all. Just something that I can just relax my brain. And so when you said that, it made me think of that. And. And then when you said unrealistic expectations. Well, yes, we do put some expectations on ourselves. And you mentioned the imposter syndrome. A lot of times it is people around us, like co workers, how come he's taking their ideas and how come they're not taking mine? Or how come they're not asking me for my opinion on that? They're asking Them. There are a lot of people who think like that, and it's unfortunate that people have to deal with that. And, you know, we just have to roll with the punches and, and understand that the bosses are gonna ask the opinion of certain people. And that's just the way that it is. And there's not much that you can do about it. You can't change it. You can't force yourself on situations. You just have to roll with the punches and deal with it.
[00:23:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, so many things that you just said there, you know, that are worthwhile kind of exp.
You know, I, I'll just, I'll share with you real quick. Kind of what you, what you mentioned at the top, you know, where you're talking about like this idea of just like your brain cannot take any more, like, don't ask me any more questions. There's actually like, we have a term for that, it's called cognitive overload. Like it. That is so common and happens so often in this world because we have these high demand jobs, whether it's high demand, you know, physically, mentally, or emotionally. And then we just have so many different things coming at us from so many different angles that, yeah, we, we get this cognitive overload and it puts us almost into it, into a stress response. Right. Like we hear about the F responses. Fight, flight, freeze, spawn, right. And, and so having this cognitive overload for too long, and here's the key, here's the big key, is like having it for too long without allowing ourselves proper recovery time or processing time. That's the biggest thing, like, that's the gap here, is that we, that's where chronic stress comes from, is because we have these things happen. Like, stress is not going anywhere. Like, let's just say that out loud, like, life can be stressful. There are going to be stressors that happen on a daily, weekly, monthly, annual basis for the rest of our lives. There are different things that are going to cause us stress, but that's not the problem. The problem is that we don't allow ourselves the time to recover from these stressors and we don't allow ourselves, you know, the process of, well, processing. We, we push stuff down. We get mad, but we're told to not be mad. So we just push that emotion aside or, you know, we're sad about something or we're frustrated or whatever, and we either consciously or subconsciously push those emotions down and we don't let them process. And that is what creates the issues that we see the kind of physical and, and mental health issues that come out of having chronic stress for too long. And so that's, you know, that's. That's part of a big part of the work I do is kind of teaching people that and then. And then sharing with people how to actually go about that processing. And it doesn't have to be digging up all the old stuff from your past. It's about processing stress in the moment and kind of rewiring and relearning how to move through those different situations so that that stress doesn't get stuck in us and cause the physical issues that we know that chronic stress can cause.
And so I think that's kind of to your point of, like what you said about rolling with the punches. Yes, we have to roll with the punches sometimes, but then we also have to take the time afterwards to do that, to have that recovery and to do that processing, because if we don't, that's when we get in. We get into trouble. And then. And then. Yeah, I mean, you mentioned that we can't change things. And I do agree to a certain ext that there's a huge kind of collective movement that needs to happen within, you know, the general workforce still as it relates to all of these things that contribute to chronic stress. But at the end of the day, we can do what we need to do, you know, with our own and our operating systems in order to make a big difference there. And so that's kind of where.
[00:26:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:24] Speaker A: Where a lot of my work focuses as well.
[00:26:26] Speaker B: Well, for sure, you can definitely. You are in control of your own narrative. Absolutely. And you can do the things that you need to do in order to get out of those situations. A lot of people don't feel that they can, but you can. And I've always been a situation where I've always told my bosses, if I'm ever in a situation where I'm just not happy or I feel like I need more, then I'm going to move on. And I'm going to be honest with you. And I'm going to tell you, this is where I'm. This is where I'm going. This is what I'm going to be doing. And thank you for the opportunity. It was great working with you. So I've always been honest and upfront with them to let them know that if it comes to a point, that's what I will do. However, at this point, I'm not there, so wording it in that way. And I've always had a great working relationship with any leaders or managers. Or supervisors that I've had because of the honesty factor there. And I, I think that's super important.
[00:27:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I absolutely agree with you and I'm, it makes me really happy to hear that about you. You know, and I think for a lot of people too, there is this, this, this fear that comes with that. And, and there's a lot of people who would maybe be too fearful to have that honest conversation with their, with their leader or their boss. And so, and that, and that's for a lot of very genuine reasons, you know, their own reasons. Everybody has their own triggers. Right. And everybody has their own reasons for having the fears that they do. And, and, and being able to do some nervous system regulation around those hard conversations is what is the game changer for being able to, to be able to make those change for yourself and like internally and then also externally being able to have that voice like you just talked about. So, so important.
[00:28:08] Speaker B: Exactly. So we're talking, I mean, obviously employees, or I call them individual contributors, they understand this. Do you? So, but do you feel that organizations are more mindful or becoming more mindful of chronic stress?
[00:28:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I think generally we're seeing an increase in awareness of chronic stress and it's, you know, its impact on employees productivity and mental health and overall well being. It's out there like, you know, there's lots of different things that are happening in the world that show us that we've seen shifts kind of post pandemic in how a lot of workplaces are operating. We've seen, you know, a rise in burnout awareness. I think it was the World Health Organization that, you know, recently classified burnout as an occupational phenomenon. Right. Kind of bringing some global attention to this idea of chronic stress in the workplace. There are wonderful organizations, I will say a lot of my clients, obviously that are, you know, really focused on employee advocacy and making sure that they are, they've got that kind of increased focus on resilience and sustainable productivity in the workplace. Yeah, for sure. To answer your question, like, more organizations are becoming more and more mindful of chronic stress and how it affects, you know, really, truly affects the bottom line. I think, you know, I had a recent post on LinkedIn where I talked about this. It's like, you know, the cost of complacency in the workplace when it comes to this type of stuff is really, really high. And so it's in their best interest to start, to start really focusing on employee wellbeing and chronic stress and, and not in a, you know, what I'm seeing with a lot of organizations, you know, not the ones that I've, I've worked with, but a lot of organizations out there are still really focused on these kind of superficial approaches to, to chronic stress and, and not really getting, not really helping people kind of get to the root cause of what's going on. So we're seeing a lot of like, perks in the workplace and you know, beer Fridays and this kind of thing and it's, it's not addressing the things that it, it needs to address. And so of course there's also still some stigma around mental health and you know, especially in certain industries and kind of talking about mental health in the industry. So those are some challenges that we're still facing. Definitely like leadership buy in is still something that we're working on. It's, you know, I always say like leadership has to be the first one to kind of model healthy stress management behaviors or, or employees are going to feel really unsupported and they're going to be, feel really hesitant to prioritize their own well being. And so we're still seeing. Yeah. That there's a gap there in terms of leaders who are doing what they need to do there. So. Yeah. So it's, it's getting better, but we still have a long way to go.
[00:31:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I love that you hear that and I do see that. The only thing that I'm seeing is that if I'm working for you, Rebecca, and I come to you and I say, listen, I'm, I'm not doing well. I feel like I'm stressed. I feel like there's a lot going on not just at work, but at home. The thing that I, that I do notice is that leaders are understanding that there could be stress or chronic stress. However, I hear leaders telling them solutions to their stress. And the one thing I will always say is that I would never tell somebody how they should feel. And I think leaders should not do that. So when someone is telling you that something is going on in their head and they're stressed, then you need to listen to what they have to say and not give a solution to it because you don't know what they're feeling. You have no idea what's in their head. You have no idea what they're going through. So you just need to be the listener and listen with pause.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I have heard you say that before, Andrew, and I love that so much. And I think it absolutely 100% applies here. Yeah. I don't think it's up to leaders to, to tell us how to feel or, or give us, you know, they can, they can provide mentorship and they could give advice based on experience, but at the end of the day, it's about providing resources as well and really, really kind of showing up as an example as well. I honestly think that's one of the biggest things is, you know, I always say stress is contagious, right? So we have to, we have to manage our own first as leaders. And you know, that stress really sets the tone for your team. If you're constantly stressed out, it's going to signal to your employees that they should be too. And it's also going to make employees hesitant to come to you in the first place and seek out those resources. So, yeah, I think, I think it's really important too, you know, think about how different companies operate as it relates to kind of feedback and acknowledgement and that type of thing. And I, I think that there's definitely a place in the workplace of today where we can get way better at giving our teams reassurance. Especially during high stress times. There's a ton of uncertainty and change. And as leaders, we have to be regulated in order to handle that ourselves. But if we're, and if we're not regulated, if we're just coping, you know, then, then we can get stuck too. And so it's not necessarily about like just pushing through and then, you know, reassuring our teams kind of without that. What's the word I'm looking for, you know, in a fake kind of way. It's more just really being transparent and also giving genuine acknowledgment when someone has been through a hard time. Like, hey, yeah, today was hard, right? Like today was hard, but here we are, tomorrow's another day. And just being really transparent, having those conversations with people, I think goes a really long way as well, for sure.
[00:34:06] Speaker B: And I like when you said the, the beer parties, I stress that companies shouldn't do pizza lunch. We're gonna a pizza party. I get what you're trying to do, but that's not gonna solve the situation. There's many reasons why they're stressed. I mean, they can order their own pizza at home and have it with their family. So it's, it's not really the solve or the be all or end all solution to, to any situation. So for the listeners, if there's any leaders out there, pizza parties, they're not going to help your organization or help with stress or chronic stress or anything that your employees are dealing with. It's never Going to help.
[00:34:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I. I would definitely echo that. You know, I would say they're nice to have. Like, let's, you know, be a little bit flexible with it. For sure, it's a nice to have. But if you think it's going to shift the culture of your workplace, it's not like we have to create these cultures where rest and recovery and boundaries and flexible work options and mental health resources are the norm. Right. Not the exception and not, you know, pizza parties aren't the norm. Right. And I, you know, I will say to that point, you know, I was. I was sharing with a client the other day. Cause we were talking about, you know, the idea of energy management. And so this particular client is in the emergency veterinary space. And so a big part of that, because it got people on call and they're dealing with very stressful situations, is energy management. There's a lot of unknowns when you go to work during the day. Right. And so having. Having those perks of, you know, pizza lunches and that type of thing is great. But when we think about it from an energy management perspective, having healthy snacks available is actually. Can be a really important piece of the pie for some organizations, depending on the industry and type of thing that they're dealing with during the day, just to help with that, that kind of ongoing energy management and regulation. Yeah.
[00:36:05] Speaker B: So for me, Rebecca, and I'll. I'll just echo this and then to. To close that out. I think if you were. Rebecca, if you're the boss of our. MY department, and you said as a thank you for making your goal, we're gonna do a pizza party. Compared to, did you bring your lunch today? I'm gonna order pizzas in for everybody today. Or It's a hot July day. Does everybody like ice cream? I'm gonna go get some ice cream bars from the grocery store and come back and hand them out to everybody on the team that is a little bit different than me. It's almost like they're doing something nice for us. It's. It's almost like we can appreciate that the other one is more like echoed to say, like, we're covering up everything. So we're gonna do the pizza party. And let's hope that they're gonna be happy with just that. That's kind of where I'm kind of going.
[00:36:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: For me, I think there's definitely a difference and I would definitely see a difference there for sure.
[00:37:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I totally agree with you. Yeah.
[00:37:03] Speaker B: So, Rebecca, what I wanted to know is what is your effect Favorite story.
[00:37:09] Speaker A: From your career and which career? No, I'm just joking.
We'll be here for another hour. If I give you a favorite story from every one of my different careers, you know, I'll share something that came up really recently so in my current, in my, in my current career. And it was this. Working with a client, an individual, a woman in a very high powered position, dealing with chronic stress and, and some, some health issues around that. And she recently shared with me she's been doing really, really well, managing her stress with the tools that, that we've been working on together and some of the processing that we've been doing. And she told me that she has started to share her journey with her team. So with the, her staff and her like the people who kind of work, work along with her. And a lot of them are more junior just coming up in her industry.
And she's like, you know, I want them to learn from this as much as I am and I want them to not have to go through what I've gone through in my career and with my mental and physical health. And so I want to be completely transparent about my journey and share with them, you know, kind of some of where I've been and then also how I am now and these tools that I've learned and changes that I've been able to make by working directly with my brain and my nervous system as it relates to stress. And so that to me was just like this huge win for me and her and her entire team. Like, this is why I do this work, is so that as many people as possible can start to just show up feeling more like themselves and sharing stories and connecting and feeling better. Right. And so that, to me, that's like, that was fairly recent. And that will go down as definitely one of my absolute favorite stories from this phase. Yeah. Of my life and my career.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: I love that story. And what I love about that is that I talk about this a lot. But there's that vulnerability factor. And that goes miles and miles specifically, especially for me. And I'm sure a lot of people, if I had a manager, a leader that did that for me and for the team and showing their vulnerability and showing that they're real and compassionate and authentic, that is, I'm not gonna lie, I would probably run through a wall for that person because that is really the epicenter of what we look for in, in a leader is to. There's many things that we look for in leadership, but vulnerability is huge for that because we, you know, you show that you are real and you show that you were not just the person in charge. You're actually taking the time to share your journey. And for me, that is caring and.
[00:40:09] Speaker A: Compassionate to a T. Yeah, could not agree more.
[00:40:13] Speaker B: Any final thoughts today? This has been such a great conversation. I could probably talk to you for another two hours here, Rebecca, but we have to adult. I know, I know we, we have to adult. We have to do some adulting here, but dang it.
Any final thoughts today?
[00:40:29] Speaker A: You know, I think we touched on so many awesome points today, Andrew. I, I guess I would maybe just leave your listeners with this thought and that is that where stress mastery is won and lost is in your willingness to show up for yourself and intentionally create the state that you want to show up in the world. Yes, our workplaces and our leaders need to step up and take action, you know, when things need to change. But it's also up to us to believe that we deserve better and then to start making those changes internally. And so, yeah, we can do that, we can do that when we know without a doubt that, you know, what we will and will not tolerate and what's most important to us in this life and our non negotiables and that our value is really, you know, has nothing to do with productivity or output or anything like that. And so, so yeah, I will just, I'll leave it, I'll leave it there.
[00:41:25] Speaker B: I love everything that you said there. I love your thought on stress mastery. You know, I, you know, want to echo to that to say that, you know, if you are feeling something is going on, find somebody to talk to and find somebody to, to talk about it. And if you don't have anybody at work, then you definitely need to find somebody outside of work to talk about it because keeping it inside is just, it's not going to help the situation. I, I have done that. I'm going to be vulnerable today and I'm gonna say, listeners, I have done that. I've kept it in and it didn't help anything because I felt like nobody wanted to listen or nobody had the time to listen or they would listen part and not the whole thing. And that was a mistake on me and I realized that. And if I could go back in time, I would definitely have done things a little bit differently. We learn from the things that we go through. So I did learn from that and I know that what works and what doesn't and that did not work at all.
[00:42:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Yep, I've been there too, Andrew. So I'm with you.
[00:42:31] Speaker B: Yeah listen Rebecca I wanted to take the time to thank you for coming on today. I cannot see and I'll good things about you. You are just a phenomenal individual. I am super thrilled to to be connected with you to to work with you and to collaborate with you on this. I I think that this was such a great conversation and I'm so thrilled that you took the time to have this with me and I am super confident that the the listeners are going to take a lot from this. So thank you again. Thank you for being you and I look forward to continued conversations with you.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: Me too Andrew thank you behalf of.
[00:43:11] Speaker B: Myself and my guest Rebecca. I to thank you all for listening today and until next time be safe and remember everybody that if we all work together we can accomplish anything you.
[00:43:23] Speaker A: Have been listening to. Let's be diverse with Andrew Stout to stay up to date with future content. Hit Subscribe.
